When you lose someone, every day is a bad day. The pain is so great that you can't even breathe. The tears flow like a dam has burst and there is no way to fix it. One minute you are mourning your loss, the next you are angry at them for leaving you, then you feel guilty either for being angry at them or think you could have done something, anything to prevent this from happening. You try and convince yourself this is not real, that you are dreaming and when you wake up you will hear their voice, see their face and get to hold them again.
But this isn't a dream. Your loved one is gone and now you need to move forward, each day you get a little stronger, at first you have short periods of time where the tears stop falling, you can function and perform daily tasks. The pain is still there but you are slowly learning how to fit it into your life. For me the tears flow unchecked in the car, at night when the house is quiet and at bedtime when my head hits the pillow.
As time passes you have what are called good days and bad days. On bad days the pain hits you like a ton of bricks. You can't tuck it away. You could be doing dishes or grocery shopping and wham it hits you hard and you can't breathe, the tears start flowing and you can't stop them. The loss is so great you again think you will not be able to survive. But you will.
Good days are scarce at first, but on a good day, the ache is still there but it is only a whisper in the heart. On a good day you may laugh, find enjoyment in the little things and even be able to talk about your loved one and your life without the flood of tears. Don't feel guilty because the good days become more frequent. It doesn't mean you are healed or that you have forgotten your loved one. It only means that the memories become source of happiness and not devastating sadness.
Today I had a good day. I hope if you have lost someone that you find your good days and embrace them.
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