I got to thinking the other day while doing laundry about old socks. These are socks that are worn in spots, stretched out, a little saggy and frayed. Though they are battle worn we hold on to them because they mean something to us and we just don’t ever want to let them go. You could put those old socks in a velvet box, wrap them in lace and tie them up with a silk bow but they would still just be old socks.
I was out shopping for new clothes the other day and it hit me I was like that pair of old socks. It doesn’t matter if I cover the gray hair, lose weight, slather on wrinkle cream or dress myself in expensive new clothes underneath all that I was still an old sock. Over time I have lost my elasticity and slightly stretched out, okay more than slightly, alright down right saggy. My skin is worn and is becoming translucent and covered with age spots, the beautiful head of hair is thinning and I have battle scars from child birth. Like an old sock time has taken its toll.
You think that it would bother me being an old sock but it doesn’t. I had a wonderful time turning into an old sock. What does bother me is since Jack died I am no one’s special pair of old socks.
You see Jack was like a pair of old shoes, stretched out and bulging in places, laces frayed and let’s face it a little stinky. Come on we all know old shoes get slinkier as they age.
So, the hard part of being and old sock is I don’t have a pair of old shoes to keep me warm, to keep me protected and safe and to envelope me and make me feel part of something and not so alone.
The interesting thing is though still desperately missing my old pair of shoes I am finding my way as just an old pair of socks. If it is meant to be someday maybe I will find another old pair of shoes they won’t be the same pair but they will be special in their own way but for now and the foreseeable future I am content to be just a plain pair of old socks. Of course, this doesn’t mean I will stop getting my hair done, buying new clothes and fighting old age with everything I got, just because I am an old sock doesn’t mean I have to become a really, really old sock.