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Why it sucks to be single

Loser Radar

Malfunctioning Loser Radar- while in Vegas Debbie and I decided to go to one of the casino bars for a birthday drink and a toast to Jack. There was a gentleman to my left, he leaned over and started talking about the music. Harmless right? Without my loser radar I didn't know that I should not engage him in conversation.

Within 5 minutes of us talking about music he advised he wanted to go home with me. Now the loser radar is fully active. I proceed to tell him about my recent loss and that I have no interest in meeting anyone or engaging in that type of activity.

All settled right, not a chance. He orders shots, I say no thank you, but the bartender makes the shots, bartender is now on my shit list. I don't even drink the shot and Casanova is ordering drinks, I say no thank you. He turns his back I am waving at the bartender like I was trying to bring in a 747. All the time mouthing no drinks. What the hell is wrong with men!

Casanova turns his back to answer the phone, I give the bartender the evil eye and make him dump out the drinks. Deb and I get up and go to the dance floor. Cowardly yes to slink away hoping he doesn't see where we went. Dam malfunctioning loser radar. No such luck here comes Casanova and he starts dancing, okay fine, that is until he starts getting a little touchy. I push him away tell him to stop and turn my back. He goes away. Wohoo!

Deb and I get back to the table and there is cake and drinks and here comes Casanova. Screw the loser radar, I need my stalker Taser. My self-control is slipping and I am trying not to bust him over the head with my beer bottle.

I try to be nice and thank him for the cake but again try and tell him that I am not interested. He goes away. Finally, he gets the message. More dancing, no Casanova!

Last set is over, I go to the table to finish my beer and here he comes again. I am afraid if I leave he will follow me. Thank goodness for the band. One guy had been watching Casanova. He came over to talk to me, my loser radar seemed to be working and I figured he was a nice guy. We talked about his family for a while, Casanova got the message and left.

I realize that someday in the way distant future that I may need to get back into the dating game. Before I do, I need to fix my loser radar, get a Taser, and learn how to be rude, then and only then may I be able to survive being single

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